He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
