we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
