I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
