if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
