my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
ok first of all what the fuck
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
