Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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