I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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