I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
