That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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