hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize