so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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