Betty ford says i'm here all night
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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