He had one of those small greek statue penises
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
