HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Pants are for mortals
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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