that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
