I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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