Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
