omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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