think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
