Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
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I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
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I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
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