"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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