how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
