We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
