I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
