Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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