You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
