$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
