Non-Jews are for practice
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
