I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
