Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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