i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize