I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
