Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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