i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
