i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
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I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
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The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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