i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Pooping to opera.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
