Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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