Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
