Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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