Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
