I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
