your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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