Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
