I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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