Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
