and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
