who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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