oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize