but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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