There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
