i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
