fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize