considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize