you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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