i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
