well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
