it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
