i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize