where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
