Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
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The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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