what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
