i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
