she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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