Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
