What did we do last night that was yellow?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
