found the other keg... it's in the tree
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
